Memories unwind.
I attempted to read Animal Farm, and mustered reasonably convincing enthusiasm about karate classes.
Everytime we were at a family gathering, and I was asked what my favourite subject at school is, (immediately after someone had asked me to sing a song - why do they always do that?) I always said my favourite subject is maths, even though I hated my teacher, and didn't know my tables.
I lied about having been cheeky in school, because he used to be delighted to hear accounts of my mischief and perplexed seniors. In truth, I used to cry when the bully pushed me and took away my tiffin in the 2nd std.
I supported him, always, in every family argument, even when I knew he was wrong.
I learned to speak Tamil and spent time with my grandparents even though it bored the hell out of me and in any case, I wanted to flaunt my good looking punjabi side instead.
I hung onto his every word, and I hung onto his arm every chance I got.
He was my hero.
The present hits hard.
I told him I dont really like action movies, and I refused to watch Guns of Navarone with him.
He fought with my mother, and I said he was wrong, not her.
He told me to take two courses of driving classes instead of one, and I told him hes unreasonable and paranoid.
He asked if I wanted to go get some coffee, and I said Ive got work to do. Then I stayed in my room watching The Tonight Show With Jay Leno.
He said he wants me join him at work, inherit his firm, make it big. I said I want to continue studying, that its my life and that his dreams cant replace mine.
He told my brother he ought to be like me, his elder sister, and take an interest in the martial arts. I said nothing. Later, I told my brother its really okay if he doesn't like karate, and that he should go ahead and play the violin, even if its just not 'boyish' enough.
I dont attend family gatherings anymore.
Now I notice flaws in my father that I'd been blind to for 18 years. I'm 19. Hes still my hero, but I've forgotten how to show him that, and so hes beginning to believe that thats changed. I argue more, now. I stay in my room. I assert myself. I show irritation at his stolidity, and impatience at his concern.
And my favourite subject is history.
Aviones en el bosque
1 year ago
